Pain Killers : Pain Makers

After my second beer in 15 minutes, I can now comment in disgust about that dope fiend Rush Limbaugh. All he wants to do is get high, high, high in the midday sun. I guess it won't be long before we find out that he's gay.

So if "Rush is Right," as the bumper stickers say, does that mean its ok to be hyped-up on the "junk?" I always thought he was an unwise man, but now I'm thinkin' if he likes to get high, and I like to get high...Maybe its ok to deport all Mexicans to Mexico, start up slavery again, and let them poor lazy kids out of school and back in them coal mines and factories where they belong.

But then again, I'm not gay, so maybe he's just full of "junked-up-shit."

I'll tell you who was right. Tom Cruise...yes, you heard me right. I'll explain the sit-u-ation.

Last week I was ready for work early. So I turned on tv and watched a 1/2 hour of "Prozac Nation." It's a story of a manic depression, blah, blah, blah. She see's a therapist who is useless. The I noticed all her symptoms were those of someone who has hypo-thyroidism. This is a medical condition where your thyroid is not producing a thyroid hormone, which tells your organs and metabolism to get working. If your not getting enough you can have a general lethargic feeling due to a very low metabolism, mental depression, along with organ failures. If the heart fails, that's bad news, but other organs that work with minimum efficiency just makes you feel like crap.

Barely able to get out of bed, sunken eyes (due to malnutrition as a result of organ failure), depression, lethargic feeling...yup that's a manic depressive all right. Now if someone with these symptoms goes to a psychiatrist...zoom, get the prozac, get drugged up.

Trust me, what you really need is a good blood work (blood testing prescribed by a real doctor). I would say 9 out of 10 cases will end up being hypo-thyroidism, in which you take, a thyroid hormone and your organs work, depression goes, energy comes and your as good as gold.

This is where Cruise was right, back a hundred years ago all you could do is talk to a depressed person and try to make them feel better. Then we found psycho-drugs, and thought it would be nice to medicate depressed folks. Which is better than nothing. But if the source of most depression is simply a failing organ, which we can compensate with a hormone drug, then talking and drugging seems kind of silly when you can fix the problem at the source.

Personally, I wouldn't mind a little prozac now and then. I like drugs. But with moderation. I don't want to be high 24/7 like Rush, so to me, "Rush is rotten," and "Cruise is Close." Get off the prozac and drugs and go to a doctor.

And now you know!

Speaking of low self esteem...


COMING NEXT: HIGH SCHOOL HYJINXS

Why I have no faith

First I must apologize to St. Garion who has much more faith than I, and for that I salute him.

I, however, have no faith. You, however, must have faith. Let me explain...

I'll start with my first memory in life.My first cognitive thought was the recognition of total blackness, nothingness, consciousness with no form. I have the feeling that I volunteered for this, and felt kinda cheated. "This is it?" I thought."

Don't worry, there's more." came the came a non-chalant reply.

"Does he have memory? Should he be aware this early?" came another uninvited voice.

"He'll forget." came the reply.

Next thing was like falling asleep, when I woke I was a little tike running toward the stairs. A man swept me up and held me up, his face right in mine.

"I just want to see what's downstairs." I said.

"Look! He thinks he's talking." the man said to others in the room.

"I am talking!" I yelled. I remember being frustrated.

"He's getting mad, you better take him..." he says as he hands me to my mom.

That's it, my first two memories. Initially these were just memories I had. Then at one point, I became aware that most people don't remember this far back, so I kept reliving it these two primary experiences before I went to sleep, until they were ground so deep in my memory, I couldn't forget if I wanted too.

I currently and always have believed that the first memory was a pre-birth consciousness. To me it's impossible to forget because they happened back to back. After the second memory, I was blank until I was about four. At that point my memory is pretty much continuous.

I've heard folks mention that they couldn't imagine what it would be like to remember back when they were four or five...but I do. I can't imagine what it would be like not remembering what it was like to be five, ten, or twenty for that matter.

Back to faith. Faith is the belief in something you cannot see or experience. Since I have experienced life prior to a physical existence, I can't have faith in something I've seen. It's there, I know its there. In a way, it kind of takes some of the fun out of life. The mystery is gone...sort of like being happily married for twenty years, its good, but no more mysteries.

It doesn't matter if you believe me, because it's me...it's my experience. You believe, I know. To me birth and death is a transition like becoming a teenager from child. It's just a change, nothing to be feared. Unless you burn to death. I'm a-scarred of burning. Jesus, that would hurt like shit. I hope God knows who's a lost cause in a fire situation and just shuts thier nerves off so they don't hurt...I just can't imagine that level of pain. Death, ok. Burning, not ok.

Anyway, I accepted the pre-existence concept for years, so its nothing new to me. But recently I've been thinking about why I know about life before and after death. The way I figure, it was either a mistake. Anyway, I just can't resist letting folks know about this cosmic blunder.

It appears we have memories prior to existence...maybe a previous life on earth, maybe somewhere else. Doesn't really matter much to me, somewhere else is somewhere else as far as I'm concerned.And now you know.

COMING NEXT: MYLANTA, MYSELF