Sunday, September 10, 2006

How to keep yo' bitch happy

Well it’s the fifth year after 9/11 and we should all be sympathetic to the families who lost loved ones.

Perhaps it would be useful to consider why folks in other countries hate us so much. Politicians seem to function in terms of “beating the enemy”, “getting them before they get us,” and what not. Maybe, just maybe, if we took away the justifications used for recruiting terrorists, they would experience a slow down and eventually all the violence will fizzle out.

I figure
this “terrorist thing” in the Middle East is similar to the “cold war” thing
that China, Russia, and we went through
between 1950 and 1995. Eventually, all grand schemes aside, it all becomes too costly and public support goes away and it all ends.



Maybe after a while they’ll end up with a not-so-smart leader that will make decisions that have proven not to work, and boom: we’ll have to deal with terrorists again. But if anything, this will weaken the country or group as they become bankrupt with bad financial policies and poor judgment that leads to violence. But that type of stuff only lasts a good eight or ten years. Then folks opt in the way of peace and the bad apple is tossed out.

Gee, that sounds hauntingly familiar?

Seems to me that all cultures eventually shift toward belief structures to include basic financial and personal freedoms anyway. It’s like a sociological evolutionary process that happens in different places at different times. The current administration’s concept of forcing democracy in the Middle East will fail. But it’ll happen in time anyway, so we just need let our failed efforts go and let things progress naturally.

That’s all I got to say about that.


READER MAIL!!!

Houston from NE writes:

Hey Bob,Last week I got a haircut and my wife didn’t notice and I didn’t care. Then she gets a new hair-do and I said it looked the same to me. Goodlord you would have thought I asked for a divorce!!!! I just don’t get it?

So why is this so important to women?


Dear Houston,

Oh hell, I don’t know. But this I do know, if you want a little sugar in your tea tonight, your gonna-wanna make sure she feels good about herself.

Just do this and try not to think about it. When the women says she’s goin to get “a-do”, then you-do-this:

Immediately note the day and excuse yourself to the bathroom and write it down and put it in your wallet so you don’t forget. On the big day, make a mental note of how her hair looks, then, when you certain it has changed (beware of cancelled appointments), say this, “Saaaaay, that looks really nice!”

Try to look surprised to create the impression that you just can’t believe how good it looks. Don’t look too surprised. Sometimes an over-surprised expression is mistaken for fear.

If your not married, then you really don’t have to do anything other than nod your head to acknowledge the change, fart and drink another beer. When I was dating, I made a deliberate effort to be more of an inconsiderate pig than I really am. By the time I got married, I curbed it a bit, and now the ol’ lady thinks I really changed for the better. But I’m just stopped being a “super-slob”.