Algebra - Christmas is not for you!

Since I promised me ol’ lady that I wouldn’t bring everyone down during the holiday season, I done nothing but showered you with sunshine and lollipops. But now that the holiday season is over I can keep my promise and tell you what I really think about Christmas.

Lets examine the concept of the passing holiday minus the religious implications. A white man magically brings gifts to all good little boys and girls. Sounds nice, but it convinces little children in magic, which is cool if your middle to upper class person who can afford to shower their children with toys. But a lot of people can’t afford to do that, nor do they have the resources to even pretend that they can afford to do this.

So children of poor families are forced to believe that magic exists, but for some reason it passes them over. I think that sucks. Then they develop poor self esteem and believe that they are just ‘not good enough’ to merit gifts from the great fat-white-man.

As for my family, we teach our children that Santa is someone who lived long ago with good intentions, but society’s current depiction of him is more of a cartoon character than anything else. Santa, like bugs bunny is a cute character but its just a cartoon.

We give and receive gifts in the spirit of Christmas and that’s that.

Why? My kids aren’t white.

If you’re a male Caucasion in America, all you have to do is have decent social skills and an average education level and you can do all right. You can get a good paying job at a factory and do good…it’s like the magic emphasized in Christmas and Easter and so forth.

If your black or brown you may get a job if your persistent, but it will be a much lower paying job. If you want that sweet paying factory job, you need straight A’s to even get considered. In most cases you’ll need to be overqualified.

For example, driving as a trucker for Schneider National requires a high school diploma. But that only counts if your white. If your brown like me, in most areas, you need a college degree to get that sweet high school diploma job. Whatever your abilities are, you’re opportunities will be knocked down one notch. There’s just no magic in your world brotha’. I’m not complaining, I’m just saying that that’s just the way it is.

Thus no Santa in my family. No one is going to suddenly say to my daughter, “Say, that gal’s got real potential! I think I’ll give her a chance.” Then with hard work, it all comes together. Nope, no magic for her, she’ll probably have to start at a job that she’s overqualified for and scratch her way upward. That’s why we don’t teach “magic”, just hard work.

I don’t know if it’s really necessary to start a new religion holiday like Kwanzia, but I like the idea that the whole Santa thing is not for us. Same goes to any family that is disadvantaged, white or black. Learn the social skills of the next social class up, and get that eductation…then its hard work. Either that or be poor.

I’m not cynical enough to really believe this, but a cynical person would say that “The Man” is teaching us to believe in magic, so we won’t do what we need to do to get ahead. Thus, maintaining a fresh supply of low wage workers.

The man wants us to sit around and wait for “our ship to come in.”

Well guess what?

That ship is filled with flying pigs, Santa and the Easter Bunny.

COMING NEXT: Why Bush needs to be KING!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

This is a late entry for the new year, but I’m real busy with the new kid and all. But I have much to write about because me head is always full of foolish ideas.

First HAPPY NEW YEAR!

This year, we welcomed our first snow of the year. The ol’ lady was sick with the flu, so mostly I tried to help around the house and I went outside with Baby Gurl #1 to shovel snow. She packed down the snow in the driveway I was shoveling and then proceeded to throw show at me while I shoveled, leaving myself wet and cold and getting more snow on the area I just shoveled.

I kept my cool and laughed it off, it was the first snow of the year. Let her have her fun, I say. When it was all said and done and Baby Gurl #1 & 2 were asleep, I did the dishes ‘cause the ol’ lady was sick and sleeping. Then I did the dishes.

Turns out I only had one beer on hand, so my new years was a sober one. Weeeeeeeee!

More interesting is the New Years of days gone by, since I’m all settled down and responsible.

So lets go back ten years ago when Stephen Johnson and I went drinking at a bar called “The Oak Ridge Boys Lounge.” We seemed to like going there because he’s a long haired hippy and I’m a Hispanicano. We always got “The Look” and we liked it that way.

Stephen was trying to fix me up with his girlfriend’s friend. She wasn’t a real looker, but she did like to drink, was was good enough for me. Stephen’s lady’s friend and I ended up having a contest to see who could drink the most tequila shots, I’m not sure who won, but by closing time Stephen, his lady, and another friend followed me to my car because despite my insistence that I was “ok”, he said I was drunk off my ass and couldn’t drive.

I got to my car and couldn’t get the key in the door. I dropped my key twice and after failing to unlocking my car door again, I gave my key to Stephen who was patiently waiting in the snow and cold blowing wind.

He took my key, laughed, and grabbed me by my coat collar and pushed me in the back seat of his car. We drove to Jim’s house where they gave me cola after cola while we watched TV until I was sober enough to drive the two miles to my house.

Then Stephen drove me to my car and I managed to drive sloooowly and safely to my house. Once home, I was instructed to call to let him know I was safe.

Had Stephen not intervened, I might not have made it home safe. I wouldn’t have finished college, met my wife and be enjoying the mellow life I enjoy now with my two Baby Gurls.

So I guess, for the first time in my life, this New Year, I am admitting that I am thankful to Stephen Johnson for watching out for me when I needed it. I hope you remember this story the next time your with someone who insists they are “Ok to drive.”

However, keep in mind, 99.99999999999999999999999999% of the time, Stephen has proven time and time again that he is a worthless-bastard-son-of-a-bitch-mutha-fucka.

And I mean that in a nice way.

COMING NEXT: What’s new!