I must share with you a vision I call love dream number 6.
Another day at the underground factory.
Down the elevator I go with a host of co-workers…we all have the hum-drum look of another Monday. Elevator shakes and rattles a bit, but keeps goin’. Nobody flinches, we’re used to the bumps and noises, although the guy next to me has a coffee with no lid, dripping shit on the floor.
Dumb ass.
A couple of hundred years ago our job would be the equivalent of coal-miner. I don’t even fully comprehend what I, or the company does, but I’ve been trained and I come on time and do what I was trained to do.
All I know is the machinery we ultimately control does its thing about a quarter mile underground in sub-zero temperatures…on account of the nuclear reactions.
I take five steps out of the elevator and all sorts of alarms are going off with red lights flashing all down the hall. I don’t remember all the codes, but I do remember if you see a red light flash go to the nearest elevator and get the hell out of there.
Mr. Coffee drops his shit on the floor runs right back into the elevator. As I start running toward our only exit, I see his frantic face as he looks me square in the eye while he’s pushing the button to close the door.
I swerve to the right to avoid the spilled coffee on the floor, and almost missed it.
Almost.
I fall and scramble to my feet just in time to see dumb-ass’s face as the door completely shuts.
The next exit is down the hall and to the right. I dart down the hall, swerve to the right and run smack into old Marilyn. We both fall face first to the floor.
I give up. I sit up and watch the closest elevator door close.
Seals in the walls start to leak sub-zero mist into the hall and I take the lotus position and await my fate.
And now you know.
COMING NEXT: They eye's have it!
ASK BOB
"The weekly events of a lazy idiot as he stumbles through life, looking for answers to questions that nobody has."
Done with this guy?
Go back to the Weirdness!
Sunday, July 08, 2007
Monday, July 02, 2007
Goose-stepping to the Republican war machine…
All sorts of things are a’ brewin’ in the news so I don’t know where to start, but lets start with Scooter Libby.
Bush just gave him a “get out of jail card.” He takes care of his own. My theory, unsupported by any factual information is this:
In Bush’s hay-day, he was wire tapping people’s phones, set up the concentration camp for Middle Eastern folks and the nation was cheering through the Iraq war. It seemed like his power and popularity was limitless.
Then Valerie’s hubby reported that the link between Iraq and nuclear weapons was a farce, and this made him mad. I guess he told Cheny to “take care of Valerie.” I don’t know if he meant to ruin her career or put her life in jeopardy. Anyway, Cheny told Scooter, and Scooter told the press she was CIA. Now, like all wrong-doing, it’s coming back to kick ‘em all in the arse.
My advice for Democrats: If you really want to prosecute more of this corrupt staff, you have to wait until Bush is out of office; otherwise, he’ll just give ‘em all “get out jail cards.”
Speaking of Bush employees, Mr. Gonzales. It seemed nice that a Hispanic person was put in a high office, but this was the wrong Hispanic. Gonzales worked for the Bush for a large portion of his career. So when Bush appointed him, he didn’t appoint someone to represent the American people, or Hispanics, he appointed an employee.
As a result, instead of advising the legalities of the President’s wishes, he lets Bush do whatever he feels God told him to do, then scrambles to find some sort of legal reason to justify his actions.
It’s true, we all want to kiss up to the Boss. But if your Boss wanted to go into a meeting naked, would you tell him not to do it, or would you try to explain later that he had invisible clothes?
Speaking of Hispanics, recently Trent Lott announced that, “People are at least as smart as Goats. He puts up an electric fence and after a few zaps, they stop going toward the fence.” I think its obvious he’s comparing Hispanics to goats. Which is a less than complimentary depiction of Hispanics.
But now that I think about it, I would rather be compared to a goat than Alberto Gonzales, so maybe Mr. Lott’s quote wasn’t all that bad.
Which reminds me of a local “news” station here in Omaha which will remain nameless, but if it’s initials are K. F. A.B. Basically the station is filled with announcers and newscasters who fill the airwaves with their observations. Once in a while I like to give it a listen to see what spin influences the stupid people.
I don’t’ listen enough to know the shows or announcers, but here are some of famous quotes I can recall hearing on that station…
“I’m tellin’ you, they still may find weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq!”
-This came about two years after our invasion.
“We need to give more money to large corporations and the people who run those companies, because they know what to do with that money to nourish the economy!”
-It seems to me that if your gonna give tax breaks, you’d give it to people who need it because they will buy stuff they need, and the economy is driven by people buyin’ stuff, not the wealthy putting money in their portfolios. Again supporting the Republican agenda at that time.
“It makes perfect sense to decrease benefits for our military personnel…we need to keep the economy strong!’
-This came a couple of years after increasing tax breaks to the rich caused the economy to go down the crapper.
“Every day we hear about illegal aliens rapping and killing our daughters!”
-We have relatively few murders in Omaha and usually they are drive-by type situations or love triangle things. Several years after hearing that, I’ve yet to hear about an “illegal alien rape or killing in Omaha.” And they call Mexican’s crazy?
These are the reasons why I consider this station to be the voice of the stupid. Like the extreme conservatives, time is their worst enemy because they always seem to be wrong.
Speaking of always being wrong, I have a great idea for Hilary’s campaign! She can come out will doll that looks like her and gives campaign slogans when you squeeze the tummy. Here are some ideas:
“We need to make this nation strong! Like the ultra-strong plastic used to construct my face!”
“If your husband cheats on you, keep smiling! Then kick him in the balls.
“Don’t you dare try to change my hair!”
“I will never ‘Goose-step’ to the Republican war machine! Unless, of course, public opinion supports it.
Well that’s all I got today, sorry I was a day late but I got a family. I’M A FAMILY MAN DAMMIT!
And now you know!
COMING NEXT: My god, am I finally out of ideas?
Bush just gave him a “get out of jail card.” He takes care of his own. My theory, unsupported by any factual information is this:
In Bush’s hay-day, he was wire tapping people’s phones, set up the concentration camp for Middle Eastern folks and the nation was cheering through the Iraq war. It seemed like his power and popularity was limitless.
Then Valerie’s hubby reported that the link between Iraq and nuclear weapons was a farce, and this made him mad. I guess he told Cheny to “take care of Valerie.” I don’t know if he meant to ruin her career or put her life in jeopardy. Anyway, Cheny told Scooter, and Scooter told the press she was CIA. Now, like all wrong-doing, it’s coming back to kick ‘em all in the arse.
My advice for Democrats: If you really want to prosecute more of this corrupt staff, you have to wait until Bush is out of office; otherwise, he’ll just give ‘em all “get out jail cards.”
Speaking of Bush employees, Mr. Gonzales. It seemed nice that a Hispanic person was put in a high office, but this was the wrong Hispanic. Gonzales worked for the Bush for a large portion of his career. So when Bush appointed him, he didn’t appoint someone to represent the American people, or Hispanics, he appointed an employee.
As a result, instead of advising the legalities of the President’s wishes, he lets Bush do whatever he feels God told him to do, then scrambles to find some sort of legal reason to justify his actions.
It’s true, we all want to kiss up to the Boss. But if your Boss wanted to go into a meeting naked, would you tell him not to do it, or would you try to explain later that he had invisible clothes?
Speaking of Hispanics, recently Trent Lott announced that, “People are at least as smart as Goats. He puts up an electric fence and after a few zaps, they stop going toward the fence.” I think its obvious he’s comparing Hispanics to goats. Which is a less than complimentary depiction of Hispanics.
But now that I think about it, I would rather be compared to a goat than Alberto Gonzales, so maybe Mr. Lott’s quote wasn’t all that bad.
Which reminds me of a local “news” station here in Omaha which will remain nameless, but if it’s initials are K. F. A.B. Basically the station is filled with announcers and newscasters who fill the airwaves with their observations. Once in a while I like to give it a listen to see what spin influences the stupid people.
I don’t’ listen enough to know the shows or announcers, but here are some of famous quotes I can recall hearing on that station…
“I’m tellin’ you, they still may find weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq!”
-This came about two years after our invasion.
“We need to give more money to large corporations and the people who run those companies, because they know what to do with that money to nourish the economy!”
-It seems to me that if your gonna give tax breaks, you’d give it to people who need it because they will buy stuff they need, and the economy is driven by people buyin’ stuff, not the wealthy putting money in their portfolios. Again supporting the Republican agenda at that time.
“It makes perfect sense to decrease benefits for our military personnel…we need to keep the economy strong!’
-This came a couple of years after increasing tax breaks to the rich caused the economy to go down the crapper.
“Every day we hear about illegal aliens rapping and killing our daughters!”
-We have relatively few murders in Omaha and usually they are drive-by type situations or love triangle things. Several years after hearing that, I’ve yet to hear about an “illegal alien rape or killing in Omaha.” And they call Mexican’s crazy?
These are the reasons why I consider this station to be the voice of the stupid. Like the extreme conservatives, time is their worst enemy because they always seem to be wrong.
Speaking of always being wrong, I have a great idea for Hilary’s campaign! She can come out will doll that looks like her and gives campaign slogans when you squeeze the tummy. Here are some ideas:
“We need to make this nation strong! Like the ultra-strong plastic used to construct my face!”
“If your husband cheats on you, keep smiling! Then kick him in the balls.
“Don’t you dare try to change my hair!”
“I will never ‘Goose-step’ to the Republican war machine! Unless, of course, public opinion supports it.
Well that’s all I got today, sorry I was a day late but I got a family. I’M A FAMILY MAN DAMMIT!
And now you know!
COMING NEXT: My god, am I finally out of ideas?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)